Friday, January 09, 2009

CINEMA VS MOVIES

Different people look for different things when viewing a motion picture. Some look for emotional insight and artistic merit, while others look for nothing more than a mindless piece of trashy stuff! But when going to the theater, how does one know what it is they are paying to see? It’s not easy, but I’ll help point out the main differences in..

CINEMA VS MOVIES

If it attempts to reveal the hidden psyche of Ernest Hemingway, IT’S CINEMA
If it attempts to reveal the hidden psycho in the basement, IT’S A MOVIE

If a hot shower is used as a metaphor for the cleansing of the soul, IT’S CINEMA
If a hot shower is used as a private peephole for horny university students, IT’S A MOVIE

If it has a direct tie-in to Sigmund Freud’s “The interpretation of Dreams”, IT’S CINEMA
If it has a direct tie-in to Diet Pepsi, IT’S A MOVIE

If it carefully examines the disintegration of a marriage, IT’S CINEMA
If it carefully examines the disintegration of a human skull, IT’S A MOVIE

If it’s a deeply personal study of Beethoven- the man, the composer, the tortured genius, IT’S CINEMA
If it’s a deeply personal study of Beethoven- the 100 kg dog, IT’S A MOVIE

If it tells the tale of forbidden love taken from the diaries of Mary Shelley, IT’S CINEMA
If it tells the tale of forbidden love taken from the diaries of Paris Hilton, IT’S A MOVIE

If it expands on the themes in the classic “Brothers Karamazov”, IT’S CINEMA
If it expands on the themes in the classic Brothers Mario, IT’S MOVIE









If the director uses a faraway camera angle to illustrate a character’s spiritual isolation, IT’S CINEMA
If the director uses the same thing because the real actor was not available the day the scene was shot, IT’S A MOVIE

If it studies modern society’s total lack of understanding, IT’S CINEMA
If it studies Sharon Stone’s total lack of underpants, IT’S A MOVIE

If they attempt a naturalistic feel by choosing a performer with no acting expertise or experience, IT’S CINEMA
If they attempt to do the same thing by choosing Bruce Willis, IT’S A MOVIE

If the action concerns stricken kids in the Dust Bowl, IT’S CINEMA
If the action concerns shrunken kids in a bowl of Chocos, IT’S A MOVIE

If the film details Michelangelo’s ambivalent relations with the Medicis and the Pope, IT’S CINEMA
If the film details Michelangelo’s ambivalent relationship with Donatello and Splinter, IT’S A MOVIE

If it employs the dramatic skills of Russian playwright Anton Chekhov, IT’S CINEMA
If it employs the dramatic skills of the Enterprise’s Ensign Chekov, IT’S A MOVIE