Wednesday, June 02, 2010

PART I: Billy suggests some new words

Frankly speaking, times are terrible when pointless and futile words such as Pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis appear in mainstream dictionaries such as the Oxford English Dictionary and the Merriam-Webster. It’s about time when English lexicographers from all corners of the world congregated and coined words for the following everyday circumstances:

1. The sly and subtle elbowing of other passengers when attempting to exit a densely crowded town bus.

2. The irresistible urge to laugh at someone for merely possessing an over-priced iPod.

3. To immediately disconnect the call when someone from an unknown insurance company offers you ‘the deal of the century.’

4. The ceremonial act of burning books at a post Graduation party.

5. The mixture of dried Chicken Tikka Masala, fried eggs and parrotta adorning a pavement which tells you that you are less than a hundred meters from a roadside Dhaba.

6. That undetermined pent-up rage experienced when a dog urinates on your car tire to establish its territorial advantage.

7. An adult who takes immense pleasure in informing small kids that there is no Santa Claus/ Tooth fairy/God.

8. The look of perpetual perplexity on the face of a woman when taught the Offside-rule.

9. Incorrigibly terrible handwriting skills of Doctors in general.

10. The unfathomable impatience of a person entering the ATM complex before the person inside is allowed to exit.

11. The extremely thin line between bravery and stupidity.

12. Frenzied arm waving resulting from a moment of inspiration coinciding with ball pen failure.

13. Obese members of the society demanding more space in public transport systems than conventionally granted to others.

14. Uncontrollable desire to slam a person with annoyingly high-pitched voice.

15. The tendency to rip one’s hair off after coming across meaningless, senseless drivel on the television/newspaper/magazine.

16. The agony suffered when your computer crashes a few picoseconds before you had intended to click on the ‘Save’ button.

17. Overwhelming impulse to verbally assault a person for possessing extremely loud and lousy ringtones.

18. The alarming tendency to replace consumer electronics as frequently as your undergarments.

19. Calling a product by the name of the company rather than its intended purpose. E.g.: Xerox machine

20. The feeling of exasperation endured by the realisation that the remote control unit is further away from where you are sitting than the device which you wish to control.

Coming Soon- PART II: Billy suggests some more new words

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